When a bad guy dies, the rest of the contestants drench themselves in champagne; but, in the light of day, they revert to their old ways
Clayton isn’t a particularly good decision-maker. He has already tweeted an apology for a choice (selecting Shanae over Elizabeth) and then immediately revoked it (giving the rose to Cassidy). On Monday night, when he’s forced to choose between Shanae and Genevieve on a two-on-one date in which the result is obvious, he becomes so flustered that he has to take a break for several minutes and leave them bickering. On Monday, he asked Jesse Palmer for help and/or clarity on the show’s rules, including an instance on Monday night when he went to Jesse to handle the program’s newest issue. Fortunately, Jesse is answering.
Monday night’s feud is a typical old-versus-young quarrel between Mara and Sarah, as witnessed on The Real Housewives of Orange County. (Thank goodness there are no Karas, Laras, or Taras—that Royal Rumble would be impossible to commentate.) Mara is the oldest remaining contestant on the show, aged 32; Sarah is the youngest at 23. Between them, we can pretty much predict who will win—Clayton has eliminated 20 of the 24 contestants aged 26 or older (83%) while four of the five contestants aged 25 or younger (80%) are still standing. Mara may be correct when she claims that Clayton puts younger women before her, but he isn’t likely to do so.
In the last episode, during the stand-up comedy date, their tension was alluded to—Sarah made some comments about Mara being old; Mara responded with remarks about Sarah being young before finishing by simply referring to her as “a desperate bitch” and walking off stage. Everyone laughed at the “desperate bitch” line, apparently thinking it was a brilliant closer rather than an extremely hurtful insult that also showed some serious ill will. But the conflict became impossible to ignore on Monday night, when Mara, who has yet to receive a one-on-one date, loses her temper when Sarah, who has already had a one-on-one date with Clayton! gets chosen for another.
How is that even possible? We, the audience, are aware of how a few weeks ago, Sarah informed Clayton that she once peed her pants while clubbing with Busta Rhymes. Urine is used in the courtship rituals of many animals, and Sarah’s story has the same effect, a strange and fascinating tale that Clayton clearly wanted more of. Make up a false tale about shitting in front of Ja Rule if Mara wants more time with Clayton.
Unfortunately, Mara has no racist tales to offer. Instead, she drags Clayton aside and informs him that some of the younger ladies are openly discussing their lack of preparedness for marriage. (What a wonderful topic to converse about! Unfortunately, such discussions have not been captured on film.) Clayton begins to worry that one of his favorites doesn’t like him back after Mara makes it clear she’s referring to Sarah.
Clayton reaches out to Jesse, who gives him only 21 seconds of advice. (I’m not kidding!) He relies on his own experience as a Bachelor, which ended in an almost immediate breakup. “It’s time for you to make a decision, Kyle,” Jesse says. “It sounds like you want answers,” Jesse adds. “You need to take matters into your own hands,” he tells him.
That’s excellent hosting. Clayton isn’t told to sit down for a lengthy heart-to-heart that ends in nothing, but rather he is pushed to be proactive by Clayton. This causes the show to move forward: Clayton bypasses the “activity” part of his date with Sarah in order to talk about Mara’s claims. She’s upset and they depart, leaving behind a solid grasp of one another as well as the understanding that Mara is on rage. Now we’re ready for an excellent next week.
The host of The Bachelor has always had one goal in mind: to appear on screen for fewer than two minutes and spend the rest of the time traveling throughout Europe. Jesse Palmer is impressing us with his speed.
Shanae’s performance was the worst
Unfortunately, Shanae’s time on the show came to an end after Monday night’s two-on-one date with Genevieve. Shanae made a huge blunder during the date that led to her being abandoned at Niagara Falls and losing the data for good.
Although she was on The Bachelor, Genevavieve treated Clayton’s experience like any other person would. She spoke about the strange feeling of being on The Bachelor and how wonderful it was to spend time with him. She was unable to form complete phrases, such as a person who might become flustered in front of cameras or a guy they like, while Shanae took charge of her time like someone aiming for just one thing: to win a reality TV show. The logic was flawless: one of them would be leaving, so why waste time trying to win Clayton’s heart and mind when she might simply get the other lady eliminated?
Unfortunately, Shanae made a huge blunder. She stated that Genevieve was only acting in all of her talks with Clayton—and she went on to claim that she was a professional actress. Clayton looked confused by this, particularly the word “actress.” When Clayton confronted Genieve about it, she appeared more perplexed than anything—not like someone pretending to be surprised but rather like someone genuinely shocked to hear themselves dubbed an actress.
Shanae was a notorious Bachelor villain. Her ultimate downfall, however, was projection. She was an excellent actor—just not good enough to convincingly accuse others of behaving badly without someone catching on.
The Most Spectacular Celebration: Gabby
After Shanae is eliminated, the remaining ten contestants return to the hotel, where they rejoice louder than the Los Angeles Rams did last night. They begin running about the room, crying genuinely and popping bottles of champagne. From that point on, things only get crazier:
When you drink champagne from a bottle, it eventually becomes flat; the bubbles dissipate and the flavor goes flat. This is an awful way to consume champagne since even one bottle has enough effervescence to make chugging from it difficult; two guarantees a Stone Cold Steve Austin-like alcohol-to-mouth inefficiency ratio. Gabby’s Stone Cold Steve Austin’s impression is not only the greatest contestant on this season but also one of the finest in any season.
Niagara Falls Is the Easiest Letdown
Normally, two-on-one dates result in the abandonment of losing contestants in remote locations such as wooded areas, desert islands, and actual deserts. Shanae’s fate, on the other hand, was pretty fortunate. She ended up being left in a crowded city park with lots of people walking by. She instead was allowed to take in the majesty of the Falls from a boat, rather than being hurled over them, which actually appeared like a potential option for a while. While other bad guys have been left to wither in some of the world’s most hostile climates, Shanae was allowed to enjoy her meal in peace. She won’t have.
For More Follow Conceptual Revolutions.